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Sunday, February 22, 2026

Dan Pelzer, Ray Bradbury, and Me

 Last December I stumbled across a lovely article about Dan Pelzer, a man who had kept a list of the 3,599 books he’d read in his lifetime. That list is publicly available in two different formats (pdf) and his website, along with some great information about Dan’s life. 

I bring this up because I realized that I’ve been keeping a similar book list since high school, and it’s actually pretty far along. No, I haven’t read 3,599 books yet, but I up to 816 odd books. I don’t post that number to boast (hell if I wanted to boast I’d go to my parent’s house and scour the shelves for all the books I can remember reading before high school - and from there I’d have to go to my old library and look for all the books I’ve read from *there*.) No, I bring it up because because 1) Dan’s life story is lovely and should be shared and 2) it raises interesting ideas about reading habits. 

Scrolling Dan’s list for books you’ve read is kinda fun, there’s the obvious classics you would expect (ie Sherlock Holmes, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, Charles Dickens) but you’ll also find books on a diverse range of subjects form Buddhist theology to the ethics of animal rights to contemporary history. He had his favorite genres of course, mysteries, thrillers and theology were pretty common genres, but he also didn’t seem to care about the perspectives of the books. Conservative, liberal, believing, atheist, Dan read them all. You can wonder why. For my part, I assume Dan had two reasons. 

First, because he was curious about the world, and his library was the best place to learn. I presume he had his own perspectives on the world that guided his decisions after reading, but Dan still took in all the diverse perspectives on the world that he could lay his hands on. From any country, from any religion, from any political system, from any joke available. 

Second, for the pure joy of it. Look at the list and try to understand the order that he chose books to read. Outside of stretches where he was working on a book series or was just on a mystery kick (I sympathize) Dan basically read everything he could get his hands on, nonfiction and fiction alike. I’m reminded of a video where Ray Bradbury addressed a class at Point Loma Nazarene University, encouraging them to read widely on any subject that interests them. He exhorts people to go to the library (or a movie theater for that matter) without prejudice and find anything that speaks to them. One line from Bradbury in particular stands out, “I want your loves to be multiple! I don’t want you to be a snob about anything!” (Check out 15:00 though 18:25 in the video.)

I feel like Dan embodies the spirit of Bradbury’s suggestions, and I can only hope that’s why I read. I look back over the list of books I read, and I think most of my reading during college years were assignments for various literature classes. In the years after that, I can see a development in my reading, going from books I knew to similar books, to related genre books. That’s mostly how I bought books or found them at the library. 

My family has a tradition of giving bookstore gift cards out for Christmas, and this past January I went into a HPB with my card. I had some good finds, all by authors I didn’t know or who were only vaguely familiar. Most of the time I made these selections because the cover was striking and the back cover or inside slips sounded interesting. Three of them were translations from modern French, Italian and Japanese authors. They join a huge TBR pile that I can’t wait to sink into. I wonder if Dan would’ve been interested in them. 


Anyways, last week I mentioned I had read Dante’s Inferno and A Clockwork Orange again. I was going to write about them, but I really couldn’t think of anything interesting enough for a blog post. So, brief thoughts: 

Dante’s Inferno (Henry Wadsworth Longfellow translation.) My sister recommended Longfellow’s translations as it was fairly similar to the Esolen translation she and I had read before, but in her opinion the poetry scanned better. I’m not in any place to comment on that, but I did enjoy this version. To be honest, as profound and beautifully written as Purgatorio and Paradiso are, I’m not surprised most people skip them. Inferno is simply more fun that the other two, and not just for the amount of self-aggrandizement that Dante indulged in. 

A Clockwork Orange. Probably best known for Kubrick’s 1974 adaptation which has more or less shaped the popular understanding of the book. I mean, really, what can I say? Yes, the book still tackles issues of free will, government overreach, juvenile delinquency, systemic failures, communication breakdown between generations, sex and Beethoven, but to be honest I didn’t find the book as profound as when I first read it. My first experience reading the book left me horrified at the violence and sexual assault that the protagonist Alex perpetrates, but what struck me more with this read through was the language. 

Final Word: both good to reread, but I’m eager for something new. 


So what I have I been reading? 

This week I’ve been reading Brandon Sanderson’s massive epic Oathbringer, book three of his Stormlight Archives. I don’t know if I’ll write about that book or just write a general Sanderson appreciation post. We’ll see. 

For my bookclub I read Something Close to Nothing by Tom Pyun, a story about a couple that breaks up right as their surrogate daughter is going to be born. I don’t really know what to say about this one just yet other than it made me laugh and cry alternatively. 

If It Bleeds, a collection of Stephen King’s novellas that was generally pretty good. 


What Am I reading Next? 

Skeletons in the Closet by Jean-Patrick Manchette, a French mystery (thanks New York Review of Books)

Cierce by Madeline Miller

Sunday, February 15, 2026

Car Crash Cluster Fuck

I don’t want to get political, but has anyone noticed that humans are kinda fucked up? 

How fucked up are we? Well, we invented boredom and if you tell me you’d need another example, I’ll tell you I don’t believe it. Fine. War, genocide, fascism, chemical weapons and the Olympics, those are pretty fucked up too. But how heinous is manufactured isolation? Can you imagine being so trapped by the rat race or social media that all the things that are supposed to make you feel *anything* numb you instead? Can you imagine being so bored and so lonely with life that you can only find solace in the thrilling, highly erotic rush of a car accident?

No I didn’t just turn over two pages at once. Stay with me. Crash by J G Ballard is a science / transgressive fiction novel about people who are so disaffected by modern society that they turn to vehicular collisions for their erotic thrills. 

(Sit down, you’re not getting out of this that easily. I read the damn thing, you just have to experience it vicariously.)

I’ll be honest, and I won’t live this statement down: I kind of fucks with the premise. People being so far removed from the human experience that they can only feel human connections through extreme actions is an inherently interesting theme, and fair’s fair, Ballard handles it well. When he’s thinking about it, that is. Plot wise, Crash centers on mad scientist Robert Vaughn and his menagerie of violently auto-aroused test subjects who he goads into psychosexual experiments (read; recreations of celebrity car crashes.) I say “goads” loosely, most of his subjects are happy to see how far they can push their arousal. Robert Vaughn has his own fetishes, specifically fantasizes about killing Elizabeth Taylor in a head-on collision where he can orgasm right as they both die. 

(If I didn’t make this clear before, the tone Ballard adopted for this book is blatantly pornographic, and I’m not certain how I feel about that. One the one hand, the book is so gross it completely fails as porn. On the other hand, it’s exploring the boundaries where technology and sexuality meet, so writing it as gross porn makes an obscene amount of sense.)

Yeah. Don’t go looking for a happy ending (hahahahahahaha) in this one. Or for pleasant, redemptive characters, so far as that goes. In his introduction to the book, Ballard commented that he saw the book as a new type of pornography, where technology and human sexuality are pushed to their limits to see if intimacy can survive. Very Black Mirror idea, actually. Loath as I am to agree with an author’s intentions, here’s what I take away from Ballard’s perspective: Technology as an extension of the human body at the cost of intimacy. 

It might be a trite observation, but the boundaries between human sexuality and technology have only thinned over time, the amount of power over ourselves we’ve ceded to said technology has grown. Yeah, most people haven’t fetishized car crashes, but technology is rampant in sexuality now. How often do you use your phone or your computer when you masturbate? Have you ever wondered if someone could hack your phone and film you in intimate moments? How often do you use an app when you want to find a quick fling for the night or do you use an app for long term dating? Do tech companies sell your browsing data? Every so often we hear about social rating apps for desirability in mating (As far as I know this isn’t a real thing, but I seem to recall Meta suggesting it at one point?) Can you log on to your favorite VTuber’s private stream and use your phone to gain control of their vibrator for a small fee? VR porn games exist, do you think people haven’t jacked themselves raw over them? 

No one in Crash experiences intimacy. The narrator and his wife start an open marriage basically because they’re bored with each other and can’t be bothered with a divorce. Yet in all their flings and increasingly dangerous and somehow neither ever find any kind of intimacy. The narrator finds obsession, dominating and daring Dr. Vaughn to kill him in his experiments, but the excitement fades. What’s bleakest about the book is there’s no next thing, no new rush for the characters. They keep holding out for gratification but never find the thing that sets them off. Everyone is more isolated by the end, more numb.

I don’t think technology in a sexual context is inherently a bad thing (I’m thinking of whatever medical technology made penile implants possible, for instance.) but the amount of power we decide tech has in sexuality is a concern I wasn’t really thinking about before reading this book. Now that I am thinking about it... I’m not that comfortable, I won’t lie. 

Are you familiar with the male loneliness epidemic that’s been reported recently? How some studies have shown that while both males and females are increasingly feeling lonely and isolated, young males in particular seem to be having a worse time? (FYI, Male Loneliness apparently is a contested issue, and I don’t know how reliable these studies are. For this post, I'm working with the concern that people of all genders are feeling isolated from each other at record rates.) I think of this epidemic level loneliness, and I think of the ways technology grifters and conspiracy theorists give lonely people purposes - frequently towards dangerous ends. ‘Join the cause and you wont be alone’ type of deal? And once the cause has chewed lonely people up and spat them back out while the grifters who pulled them in walk away unscathed? 

Robert Vaughn in Crash is that type of grifter. He’s the only one who benefits, and yeah, he dies, but he dies gratifying his desires. Everyone else is left alone. They’ve crashed, but they haven’t climaxed. They’re left with the same desire they always had, with no outlet for their tension. 

To go back to my original question, yes I can imagine a world where extreme technologies drive us to wild new forms of sexual experimentation. I can also imagine the aftermath. Sticky and gross with more to clean up. 

So, good on J G Ballard for making me think about sex in a new and disturbing way. Did I like his book? No... Do I recommend Crash? Heavily qualified yes... but only if you’re willing to put up with some truly stomach churning pieces of writing. Yeah this book is gross, beyond body horror, and that’s probably why it was so controversial. As I said, it’s basically porn, but written in a really clinical tone with scatological language that’s pretty revolting at times. One of my friends described it as a ‘clusterfuck’ while we discussed it, and it literally is a clusterfuck. I’d say read it if you’re interested, but don’t blame me if you get the wrong kind of thrill when you step into your car next.

Anyways, I just finished reading Dante's Inferno and A Clockwork Orange, so hopefully we'll have something a little more lighthearted next post.   

(PS, in 1996 Crash was turned into a movie by - who else - David Cronenberg. I haven’t seen it, but reportedly it focuses more on the connection between sex and death than sex and technology. I mean fair enough. Sex and death is certainly a theme of the book, but one I admit wasn’t as interesting to me.)

Sunday, February 8, 2026

Trying Something New

So. 

I've often thought about inflicting the hazardous wastes that exist inside my head on the outside world, but I've wanted to spew it on my own terms, if that makes sense. "So join social media" they said. Uh ... no. 

I'm not a fan of pushing my thoughts out one bite sized chunk at a time a la Twitter or bsky and I really can't be bothered to document my life one picture at a time a la FB or Insta.  (Yes, I have social media accounts but that's beside the point.) So here's my grim compromise. 

Imma start writing down what I think about books, movies, TV, games, yeah yeah yeah, you all know the drill. I'll say it up front, I don't have anything special to differentiate this place from all the other internet diaries you can find. I'm just another lonely voice in the wilderness of voices, hoping that I luck into big audience of like-minded weirdos who share my sense of humor - or at least find my tastes in literature interesting.  

'Cause I hope that's mostly what I'm going to be writing about. I read a good deal (thanks audiobooks) and I keep hoping that I can build a career as a fiction writer. As I work on that, I'm hoping I can finally make some use of my English minor (and BA in Journalism) by using this blog as a vehicle for my critical opinions.  

Outside of said BA, I don't have any credentials that make me a critic so I'm going to have to make myself one. So, until I start reading books on textual criticism or semiotics, or on film and literary criticism, please note that most of what I write will be of the "I like this because of X" school of criticism. Also, I'm hoping I can post at least every week, and more frequently if I can.  

Anyhoo... 

I'm working on a post about the book I just finished, Crash by J G Ballard. Hooooooooooooo boy that's a hell of a first thing to write about. If you know, you know. If you don't... you'll find out. From me. 

I'm Currently: 

I want to _____ next: