As the World Turns

 Happy Easter, One and All. 

I wish I had a book to review for this post, because I don’t have much to really talk about. I could talk about my personal life, but I have explicitly tried to avoid that with this project so far. I’ve been trying to share cultural  opinions on here, keeping my personal life to a minimum. I’m realizing that this goal might be misguided. Not that wanting to keep a private life is a bad thing, but sharing critical opinions means that you have to share personal opinions, thoughts and beliefs. (I refer you back to my post about the Big Nowhere.)

Of course I don’t have to share more than that, and I am going to keep my private life private, but I’d be lying to you if I didn’t acknowledge my personal beliefs creeps in from time to time. And if my beliefs sneak in, my personal life might too from time to time. Now that the Easter holiday is on us, I think I’ve been reflecting on where I am in my life and where this year has been going. I apologize if this a maudlin topic, it’s just what’s been on my mind. Either that or it’s way too late on a Friday night and I’ve been drinking more than usual. 

...

OK so it’s the next morning, and I was totally drinking too much when I wrote the opening paragraphs here. I do like what I said though, maybe I should be drinking more when I write...

In any event, trying to review where this year has been going isn’t a bad idea. I started this year with only one goal in mind, improvement. I have now realized I really needed to specify what I want to improve on. OK then. I really want to get more mobile, I want to exercise more and I want to be healthier (jury’s out on progress.) I want to find a new job that’s better paying and that fits my skills better. I want to spend more time writing (work related burnout has been killing me here, but I’ve recently joined a writer’s group that will hopefully force me back into exercising creativity. 

What sucks about some of these goals is that they’re outside of my control (the job market is FUCKED) and I basically just have to be incredibly lucky to achieve them. In terms of being healthier, I’m battling genetics and some serious anxiety issues. In terms of being creative I’m battling the same anxiety and burnout. Well, frankly, fuck all that. I’m still going to try and do it. It’s not like any of these goals are impossible. It’s not like the world is so fucked that I can’t do any of these. 

*You raise your eyebrows, stand up, walk over to the window, pull the blinds apart to reveal a world on fire set to a soundtrack of agonized human screams. You close the blinds, cutting off the screams, and raise your other eyebrow at me, making a mad-eyed-staring-face*

OK, yeah, the world is fucked. I know that. I’m trying to keep a sense of hope about things. That’s kind of the point about Easter, isn’t it? 

Anyone who reads this probably knows I was raised Catholic, and while I’m more agnostic in my spiritual beliefs now, the effects of the traditions I was raised in still have left their impression. Easter (or if you prefer the old Saxon pagan term Ēostre) as a time of renewal, of spiritual growth seems like the perfect time to remind ourselves that we can always improve, and that life gets better. As fucked as everything seems right now, well, we can still hope that things will change for the better as the world turns. Isn’t that what hope in the Resurrection really means? 

Anyways, I hope you all have have a wonderful day.