Looking Forward

My cosmic odometer ticked over another year this past week, and I’m starting to feel my age. (27, if you’re asking.) Not that I’m getting too old to do things I still find fun.  Most of the tings I fund fun don’t take me out of my bedroom. But I am getting the urge to go out and do other things, to find more kinds of fun outside of my room. Because, I won’t lie, I kinda think I’m trapped there. despite the obvious external pressures of political realities, economic turmoil, and mental health problems I really do want to try to spend this next year of my life living like I never have before. 

The last 26 years have been... well troubling in retrospect. Not totally, of course. Highs and lows abound like in anyone’s life. But in the last six years I’ve had the clarity of mind to really questions what I had been taught, and try to learn from past experiences. This has been traumatic, and has prompted a greater shift in perspective on my life, as can be imagined. I don’t want to get into too many of the gory details of the past, but suffice to say that I’ve taken the last 6 years to discover who I really am. From there, I’ve tried to recoup myself and understand who I am and where I’m going. And now, after turning 27, I guess that I really don’t know where I’m going and what I’m doing. But I do know this: I’m tired of recouping. 

It’s time to build. I really, really want to spend this next year building something of my life. I don’t know what I’ll build, but I’m done coasting. I’ve got a few goals I want to accomplish, but I won’t beat myself up if I don’t finish them after a year. They’re goals, not end-all be-all achievements. 

[] I want to put some serious work into a piece of long creative writing. A novel or novella would be good. 

[] I want to read more, and try to break my YouTube Addiction. 

[] I want to intentionally seek out more friendships, work relationships

[] I want to try for some kind of romance. 

[] I want to take my mental and physical health much more seriously this year. 

[] I want to find a more creatively fulfilling job. 

[] I want to be kinder to myself and learn to build off the love for myself I’ve clawed back. 

Last year I seriously thought about giving up celebrating my birthday. After all I was far from home, in a new town, and trying to self-regulate my lifestyle. I’m happy to say that I’m going to continue celebrating my birthday (and hey, with a long weekend, I still am) because not celebrating is too close to real life. 

Here’s to another year! Come hell or high water, I’m going to make it a good one.